North Korea Tests Nuke, Missle; Obama, Hillary Talk

In case you missed it, North Korea recently detonated a nuclear bomb and also tested a long-range missle. I thought it may be worthwhile to dissect the Fox news report on this so we’re all clear what the heck is going on.

The timing of the test caught U.S. officials by surprise, though President Obama noted talked about the fact that recent North Korean statements previewed such a move.

So… even though we knew they were going to build and test nukes eventually, we had no idea they had them already. Boy, I’m so relieved Obama’s talking about this.

The White House rushed to respond talk, with Obama condemning talking about the detonation in a written statement (probably penned by a staffer) and then during brief remarks a short talk in the Rose Garden before heading to Memorial Day services. He called on talked to the world, asking the world to “stand up” to North Korea. 

So… after a bunch of talking, Obama suggested that The World ought to do something about it. Now that’s leadership.

But the United States was already at risk of encouraging such behavior, said analysts, who advised talked to the Obama administration to take a firm stance against Kim Jong Il and his regime. 

So… analysts said we brought this on ourselves, us dastardly Americans. It’s always our fault. Which analysts?

John Bolton, former U.S. ambassador to the United Nations warned … that North Korea has been encouraged in such “belligerence,” since its 2006 test was followed by the resumption of the six-party talks – discussions talks among the U.S., China, Japan, Russia and the two Koreas aimed at encouraging North Korea to give up its nuclear program. Those talks later stalled again.

Oh, I see. So… basically by only ever talking about the problem and never doing anything about it, Kim Jung Il realizes he can test nukes, build missles, or do whatever else he wants. Those crazy dictators are so megalomaniacal. Let’s keep going.

Stephen Bosworth, special envoy for North Korea policy, said just two weeks ago that “everyone is feeling relatively relaxed” and “there is not a sense of crisis.” Bosworth  said “dialogue talking and negotiation more talking” is the best course…

So… who’s Stephen Bosworth and what is he smoking? That’s all you can come up with, Steve? It’s no biggie? Let’s discuss it some more? What part of Nuclear Bomb Detonation and Long Range Missle Test don’t you understand?

Defense Secretary Robert Gates said talked about it in March that there’s nothing the United States could do about such a firing, though officials nevertheless warned talked sternly to North Korea not to go ahead with the test.

So… our Defense Secretary basically told Kim Jung Il in advance we wouldn’t retaliate. Great Strategy Bob. Which officials talked sternly, and to whom? I wonder… when [we] warned North Korea not test nukes, did Kim Jung Il reply, “Or what?” 

North Korea fired the missile a week later.

Of course they did. We are all talk. Our words proclaimed we wouldn’t do anything about it (other than talk some more).

The U.N. Security Council condemned talked bad about the action, and then North Korea threatened to restart its nuclear reactor. 

Well that proves they’re nuts. Power your cities cheaply with totally clean energy! Now there’s a wacky idea!

Not only could North Korea be sharing information about nuclear technology with Iran, but North Korea’s behavior could embolden Iran. President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad also rejected a proposal to “freeze” nuclear work and rejected talks with world powers on the matter, according to Reuters. The news agency reported that the Iranian navy also sent six warships into international waters. 

So… two of the biggest whack-jobs on the planet are helping each other build nukes. I wish I was making this stuff up, but truth is stranger than fiction.

Obama said the tests pose a “grave threat” to international security and that the world “must take action in response.”

Not I Will Take Action. Not We Will Take Action. Not The United States of America Will Take Action. Oh no, now that He’s elected, no Global Thermonuclear War is going down on His watch. This is the world’s problem now. I see. It was the world who loved Obama, and the world who elected Obama. We’ll see if it turns out to be anything other than the USA coming to the World’s Rescue as history repeats itself over and over.

According to the State Department, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton spoke with the Japanese and South Korean foreign ministers Monday morning about the tests and later planned to speak with her counterparts in China and Russia.  ”Secretary Clinton is engaged in intensive diplomacy,” spokesman Ian Kelly said in a statement. 

So… I bet Kim Jung Il is really scared now that you sicked Hillary on him, o wise American left. She’s clearly on track to talk him to death. I love this whole idea of “intensive diplomacy”. What exactly does that entail? Waterboarding? Or just a very stern talking to?